I have been continuing my quest to keep talking about vaginismus. It's amazing how easy it becomes after the tenth, twentieth, thirtieth conversation. It's become normal. I just talk and talk and talk and PEOPLE LISTEN. People care. Nobody is shocked or horrified or laughs in my face. Mostly people feel the injustice of thousands of women living in secrecy and shame, with a condition that hurts every bit of them, and want to do something to help. It's about so much more than 'painful sex'. We know that. Now others are starting to learn this too.
I had a wonderful weekend earlier this month, where I met up with a friend that I have made through this blog. It felt a little bit like a first date. We had been chatting online and texting for months, but had never met. But luckily, when you only have 24 hours and a massive beast like vaginismus in common, there's not much time for awkward chit-chat. Within minutes we were talking about vaginas, lubricant, therapy, dilators... The conversation was so easy and comfortable (to the point that we realised a man sitting alone at the next table could clearly hear every word!). But we didn't care. It didn't matter. The shame is much less when you're sitting with someone who's going through it too. And to anyone sitting far enough way that they couldn't hear about our favourite type of lube, we just looked like two normal women, out having a glass of wine and a chat and a giggle. Because that's what we are. And by the end of the night, we weren't even talking about vaginismus any more. If you must know, we spent a lot of time looking at Madonna's instagram. Because there's more to all of us than vaginismus. Like intense interest in pop stars.
My friend and I met with the intention of DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SHIT. Not curing each other. We're realistic. But we have both felt the massive benefits of meeting one another and sharing stories with someone who gets it. We want other women to have this opportunity. We want women to easily access information about vaginismus, that is honest and true. None of the medical-speak. Vaginismus isn't that black and white. We are all living it differently.
So we're working on it, ladies. Believe me, we are working hard! This new focus has seen a bit of blog neglect recently, and I'm sorry about that. I will try to do better. But, hopefully, what I am now trying to create will be even better than this. It will connect you with other women and give you the support that you need, whenever you need it. It will normalise vaginismus and take away the awful shame that we feel. It will give us the voice that we so deserve.
Enough of this silence. Enough now.
If you think you can help or want to get involved in our vagina revolution, please drop me an email! Let's make lemonade out of the big, sour vaginismus lemon. We are mainly looking for a bit of help with branding and thinking of a name and helping us articulate what we want to do. The best idea I had was something about beef curtains... Marketing ain't my bag, baby.
Look forward to hearing from you soon!!! :-)
heyvaginismus@gmail.com
