Monday, 27 March 2017


So after my last post, where I mentioned that I had been talking more about vaginismus to everyone that I know, I knew there was something I REALLY had to do.

I have, as I am sure I have mentioned, a tight-knit squad of incredible woman friends.  We tell each other everything. Except I have known them for a million years, and never told them about vaginismus.  This one seemed a bit more difficult.  Not from an embarrassment point of view.  But more because I worried that they might be hurt, or sad, that I had not felt able to talk to them about this before.  It is such a huge part of my life, yet my best friends in the world literally knew nothing of it.

I decided it was time to fix that.

So, I told them.

I started gently, explaining that I had a 'painful sex condition' and had started blogging about it.  Then I told them about all the incredible women I had spoken to, met with, shared stories with.  And how I have only just started to be able to accept this as part of my life.  And how I wish I could have spoken to them about it before now.  But I couldn't.  But I want to change that for other women. All of it.

I'm sure you can guess how the next bit went...

They were surprised, but ultimately so supportive. When I told them about the blog and all my plans to develop it, they told me they were proud of me.  Then they immediately took it back because they know I hate that kind of sentimental crap.

But really, it made me happy.  The truth is out.  They now know why I run to the bar, toilet, hills whenever they talk about sex.  They now understand why I don't stock tampons in my bathroom.  They now KNOW ME.  And after 15 years of friendship or whatever, I think it's about time.

So, who's next?

I feel like I am just constantly walking around talking about my vagina.  But it's all been positive. I have never once felt stupid, or embarrassment or wished I hadn't said anything.

Vaginismus is still intact and still ruling the roost in my vag.  But slowly, slowly I'm defeating it.  The less I care about it, the less it can hurt me, right?

Here's hoping...


  1. So happy to hear this news! It took me a long time to feel ready to tell my best girlfriends about my vaginismus too. It's all about when you are ready.

    1. I haven't told anyone but my husband. Don't think anyone will understand because I have been married for 3 years already

  2. I told a group of my friends after too much wine and they started talking about when everyone was going to have babies. It came out as "I need to start having sex before I can have babies". It was soo freeing to have it out on the open.

  3. LOVE THIS! Let's keep talking and talking! :-) xx

  4. This is a savvy blog. I would not joke about this. You have such a great amount of learning about this issue, thus much energy. You additionally know how to make individuals rally behind it, clearly from the reactions.

  5. There is no such thing as an abnormal vagina. Abnormal is a word which refers to something that is not considered "usual", see the way I evaded the word "normal" and used usual because the same

  6. Primary Vaginismus. 
    If you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex. 

    It is God's way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate. 
    So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN.
    Or be CELIBATE. 
    That's because it is God's way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don't realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming. 

    Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will.
    God does NOT want you to have sex. 
    If your a woman, don't get married & don't have sex if your VAGINA wont let you.
    God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity.
    FACE IT! You have a NUN'S VAGINA.
    It is time to give up on men and become a NUN.

    VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation.
    God truly works in strange ways.
    I am now an enlightened man.