Monday, 16 January 2017

Dilator Live Blog

So, after yet another dilator break, I decided to get them out tonight and get inserting.

I really can't write another post about starting again after a break.  Avid readers of the blog will know there are MILLIONS of those. I am the queen of stopping and starting.  Mainly stopping.  But tonight I'm starting.  Again.

However, I thought it might be a whole ton of fun to live blog my way through dilators.  Now, just to remind you, the biggest I have inserted is D3 (which is actually the 4th one in my kit. Just to keep you on your toes...)  I have not inserted dilators for a while, so not expecting this one to go in tonight but you never know... maybe the pressure of a live blog will work magic on my vag.

So here we go:

19:33- Lubed up D0 and located my vagina.  Dilator 0 slides in with relative ease.  It's a tiny bit sore getting past the good old PC muscle (muscles? Is there more than one? Who knows.)  But it's in.  That was fine.  I am going to sit with it inside me for a little while.

19:34- Urgh, kind of need to pee.  Must remember to pee before dilating next time.  WHICH WILL BE TOMORROW OBVS. LOLZ.

19:38- D0 still inside.  Feeling fine.  Will take it out now... Yuck. I really don't enjoy the feeling of a dilator coming out.  OK, time to lube up D1 and insert...

19:39- Ok, got the tip in the right place... but this isn't wanting to go in.  Ouch. STOP HURTING ME. Bastard.  It actually burns.  BIG SIGH WHILE I REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN D1 WAS EASY... CURSE MYSELF FOR LEAVING IT SUCH A LONG TIME

19:41- Paused for some deep breaths.  It is now inside. Always amazed how it eventually stops hurting after a certain point (The muscle/ muscles).  REALLY NEED TO PEE NOW. But I am not moving.

19:42- Feel a bit guilty.  Husband changed the bed sheets earlier and I've just spilled lube absolutely everywhere.  SORRY DEAR.  Luckily it's water based, so I guess it'll just dry?

19:43- I need to cough.  If I cough, will the dilator fall out? Just coughed.  It stayed in. Thanks, ridiculously tight vagina! Couldn't really face trying to insert that again...

19:44- This isn't very comfortable. I can feel my vagina spasming. One's fanny is not amused.

19:45- Took it out and slopped a bit more lube on.  Re-inserted it.  It slid in much more easily this time, with less pain.  Can't decide whether to attempt D2.  Probably shouldn't but I am actually quite enjoying this live blogging... CONFLICTED.

19:46- D1 still inside.  Spasming has now stopped.  Still need a pee.

19:49- Ok, I'm doing it. I'm going to try and insert D2.  Will be an ocean of calm, even if it doesn't remotely go in.

19:50- Fuck- forgot how big this one is...

19:51- OK the tip is in the right place... Just relaxing the muscles and will try and give it a wee push


19:53: I'd say about a third of it is in. It doesn't hurt at all.  But it's just not moving any further.  ANNOYING

19:58- D2 definitely not happening tonight.  And I REALLY have to pee.  Already spilled half a bottle of lube over the freshly changed bed.  Don't want to add any unsavoury body fluids to the mix.  All in all, not a bad attempt at dilating, given that I haven't done it in actual weeks.

I have no idea if this is actually a good blog post, or the ramblings of an idiot. Do let me know what you think!



  1. Good post! You just described a typical dilation session so it is not rambling at all. One little advice, to spread a soft, medium sized towel or blanket beneath you before each session to keep your sheets clean ;)

  2. Primary Vaginismus. 
    If you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex. 

    It is God's way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate. 
    So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN.
    Or be CELIBATE. 
    That's because it is God's way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don't realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming. 

    Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will.
    God does NOT want you to have sex. 
    If your a woman, don't get married & don't have sex if your VAGINA wont let you.
    God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity.
    FACE IT! You have a NUN'S VAGINA.
    It is time to give up on men and become a NUN.

    VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation.
    God truly works in strange ways.
    I am now an enlightened man.