So, after yet another dilator break, I decided to get them out tonight and get inserting.
I really can't write another post about starting again after a break. Avid readers of the blog will know there are MILLIONS of those. I am the queen of stopping and starting. Mainly stopping. But tonight I'm starting. Again.
However, I thought it might be a whole ton of fun to live blog my way through dilators. Now, just to remind you, the biggest I have inserted is D3 (which is actually the 4th one in my kit. Just to keep you on your toes...) I have not inserted dilators for a while, so not expecting this one to go in tonight but you never know... maybe the pressure of a live blog will work magic on my vag.
So here we go:
19:33- Lubed up D0 and located my vagina. Dilator 0 slides in with relative ease. It's a tiny bit sore getting past the good old PC muscle (muscles? Is there more than one? Who knows.) But it's in. That was fine. I am going to sit with it inside me for a little while.
19:34- Urgh, kind of need to pee. Must remember to pee before dilating next time. WHICH WILL BE TOMORROW OBVS. LOLZ.
19:38- D0 still inside. Feeling fine. Will take it out now... Yuck. I really don't enjoy the feeling of a dilator coming out. OK, time to lube up D1 and insert...
19:39- Ok, got the tip in the right place... but this isn't wanting to go in. Ouch. STOP HURTING ME. Bastard. It actually burns. BIG SIGH WHILE I REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN D1 WAS EASY... CURSE MYSELF FOR LEAVING IT SUCH A LONG TIME
19:41- Paused for some deep breaths. It is now inside. Always amazed how it eventually stops hurting after a certain point (The muscle/ muscles). REALLY NEED TO PEE NOW. But I am not moving.
19:42- Feel a bit guilty. Husband changed the bed sheets earlier and I've just spilled lube absolutely everywhere. SORRY DEAR. Luckily it's water based, so I guess it'll just dry?
19:43- I need to cough. If I cough, will the dilator fall out? Just coughed. It stayed in. Thanks, ridiculously tight vagina! Couldn't really face trying to insert that again...
19:44- This isn't very comfortable. I can feel my vagina spasming. One's fanny is not amused.
19:45- Took it out and slopped a bit more lube on. Re-inserted it. It slid in much more easily this time, with less pain. Can't decide whether to attempt D2. Probably shouldn't but I am actually quite enjoying this live blogging... CONFLICTED.
19:46- D1 still inside. Spasming has now stopped. Still need a pee.
19:49- Ok, I'm doing it. I'm going to try and insert D2. Will be an ocean of calm, even if it doesn't remotely go in.
19:50- Fuck- forgot how big this one is...
19:51- OK the tip is in the right place... Just relaxing the muscles and will try and give it a wee push
19:52- PC MUSCLE SAYS NO
19:53: I'd say about a third of it is in. It doesn't hurt at all. But it's just not moving any further. ANNOYING
19:58- D2 definitely not happening tonight. And I REALLY have to pee. Already spilled half a bottle of lube over the freshly changed bed. Don't want to add any unsavoury body fluids to the mix. All in all, not a bad attempt at dilating, given that I haven't done it in actual weeks.
I have no idea if this is actually a good blog post, or the ramblings of an idiot. Do let me know what you think!