Monday, 17 October 2016


So, it turns out I was right.  Meeting someone with vaginismus is pretty great.

As I mentioned in my last post, I finally managed to meet up with a fellow vaginismus lady last week, and actually talk about all of this face to face with someone who GETS IT.

And, as expected, it was great.

We chatted about everything- how we found out we had it, awful experiences with doctors, smear fear, tampons, dilators, sex, ALL OF IT.  And we laughed about a lot of it too.  And we had those moments of 'This is going to sound really crazy...' and finding out that it didn't sound crazy at all to someone else with vaginismus.

What we did agree on, is that there is just not enough information out there about this.  Now, clearly, this is not breaking news.  We all know this.  But to share experiences of trying to be diagnosed, and dealing with insensitive and downright ridiculous suggestions made by doctors and sexual health professionals about how to deal with our problems, made it pretty clear that vaginismus diagnosis and treatment is just not good enough.

Why should two grown adults have to meet in secret in a cafe and lower their voices every time the waiter walks past for fear and shame of being overhead?  Why should it take a year of anonymous blogging to find another woman with the same health condition, and sit and have a discussion about it?


I don't have an answer, unfortunately, but leave it with me.  Once I set my mind on something, I usually do it - except for inserting the biggest dilator of course LOLZ

But in the meantime, I can't recommend enough tracking down a fellow vaginismus lady and having a coffee with her.  If you have no idea how to go about finding your vaginismus friend, send me an email and tell me where you live.  If two people from the same place get in touch, I'll hook you up! I'm in the UK, if you want to have coffee with me...

Really though, you should.

Having vaginismus involves a lot of sitting around and feeling like the only person on a very sad planet.  But sitting face to face and chatting about it with someone in the same position normalises it in a way that I never thought possible.

Get in touch!


  1. This is brilliant.
    Just going back through and rereading some of your older blog posts.
    Just need to find some vaginismus ladies for tea in the USA now.
    Thanks for all your posts, they've made me laugh and feel good about myself. I feel even more inspired to keep spreading the word.

  2. Primary Vaginismus. 
    If you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex. 

    It is God's way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate. 
    So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN.
    Or be CELIBATE. 
    That's because it is God's way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don't realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming. 

    Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will.
    God does NOT want you to have sex. 
    If your a woman, don't get married & don't have sex if your VAGINA wont let you.
    God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity.
    FACE IT! You have a NUN'S VAGINA.
    It is time to give up on men and become a NUN.

    VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation.
    God truly works in strange ways.
    I am now an enlightened man.