Thursday, 7 January 2016

Happy New Vag!


I hope you all had a wonderful time!

I have finally come out the other end of the Christmas/ New Year festivities. Back to work and back to blogging.  And back to vaginismus.

I'd love to tell you that Christmas was a productive sex-fest, with epic dilating, shagging and vaginismus-conquering, but that would be a big fat lie.  At the end of 2015, I was suffering the common freelancer ailment known as 'burnout'.  I was over-worked, tired and craving some down time.  So I had it. I spent Christmas and New Year lounging around on people's sofas, eating excessively and knocking back way too many glasses of champagne.  Lovely!

Christmas is my husband's busiest time of the year at work (Guess his job... Spoiler alert- he's not Santa).  Time together was short and precious, and dealing with vaginismus was pretty much off the agenda.  It was good just to spend time together without the big V hanging over our heads.

But getting lost in a haze of wine, tinsel and heartburn doesn't actually mean the problem goes away.

It's 2016 and I still have vaginismus.

I have managed to use my dilators once or twice over the Christmas holidays.  One of the targets I set with my therapist was to stop inserting D0.  Instead, I was to try and start with D2.  I am pleased to say that I managed to do this- on two separate occasions- and am now confident that D0 can remain forever in the drawer.  Although I am disappointed with how little I have used dilators over the past few weeks, I am very impressed by my stretchy vagina and it's ability to remember that insertion is OK.

So this week it's back to work and back to reality.  Unfortunately, the gods of excellent timing are frowning upon me, and I have been blessed with my period this week.  So no dilators.  But I thought a bit of blogging might be just what I need to ease myself back into the world of vaginismus.

It's been a good holiday, but time to get real.

I am DETERMINED that, when 2017 rolls round, I will have conquered vaginismus.  It's not a new years resolutions (for as we all know, nobody sticks to those).  It's deeper than that.

It's a choice.

This year, I choose not to keep vaginismus in my life.

Hope all my fellow vaginismus ladies have had a great holiday, and hope you're filled with the same hope and determination for 2016.