Wednesday, 11 November 2015

When It's All Over

If you'd asked me six months ago if I ever saw myself getting over vaginismus, I would probably have said no.  After living with it, and avoiding dealing with it, for my entire adult life, it didn't seem likely that anything would change.

But something did.  Something has.  I don't know how or why, but suddenly I am powering through a treatment programme and seeing some light at the end of the very tight vaginismus tunnel.  I have started working on D3 -it's going about 3/4 of the way in, so nearly there! After that, it's just the big giant D4 to deal with and then, ideally, some real actual sex.

I have become so used to seeing, touching, using and talking about dilators that to picture my life without them is quite strange.  It will be a brilliant day when I finally stop having to use them, but after having been such a big part of my life, it seems a bit sad to throw them in the cupboard, or the bin, never to be seen again.  With much loved clothes and handbags that I no longer use, I always donate them to charity shops, but I'm thinking nobody's going to want my pre-loved kit of vaginal trainers.

My husband and I were talking about this the other night, and began to think of ideas for what to do with them when it's all over. I thought I'd share some of our best ideas, just to make you smile if you're having a particularly rubbish day (vaginismus or otherwise).

If you don't have vaginismus, this is what dilators look like...


  1. Punch holes in them, thread them onto a ribbon and create a piece of 'statement jewellery'
  2. Stick googly eyes and little wigs on them and create a Vaginismus  Awareness Raising Puppet Show
  3. Fill your hollow dilators with yummy fruit juice then stick the handle on. Stick in the freezer overnight and enjoy a lovely ice lolly on a hot summers day
  4. Fill D4 with lentils, then stick the handle on the end.  Give to first born child to use as a rattle
  5. Put D4 (with handle attached) under your pillow and use as a weapon to scare away burglars/ murderers/ ghosts
  6. Stick wings on D4 and put it on top of the Christmas tree, to remind you to have plenty of festive sex
  7. GOLD-PLATE THE DAMN THINGS and put them in a glass cabinet as reminders of how bloody well you've done to no longer require dilators in your life.  If anyone asks what they are, just tell them they're trophies for being the champion of your own life. FIST PUMP!

Any other suggestions? Send them my way!
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