Monday, 23 November 2015

Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby

Last night's date with the dilator was obviously written as a bit of a joke, mainly to counter the rather grim, seriousness of my previous post.  I didn't ACTUALLY take a dilator on a date.  And sorry ladies, his sage advice and suave banter was all just a figment of my imagination.  George is, as you may have suspected, just a big, cold bit of penis-shaped plastic on a stick.

However, last night, after our imagined date, I took George (sorry can't call him anything else now!) through to the bedroom, cracked open a bottle of lubricant and decided to see what happened.

And guess what? After a bit of persevering and deep breaths, George went in.  Completely, fully, totally in.  Sure, it wasn't comfortable, but it was in.  And, like George himself told me on our date, I've been in this position before with all the dilators that came before.  It's difficult, sore, weird, makes you need to pee, and makes you feel like it will never be comfortable the first time you insert the next size up dilator.  But eventually it'll feel fine.

The next size up from George is D4.  The final dilator in the kit.  It is freaking enormous.  I think I'm going to continue hanging out with George for a little while longer before I even consider moving on.  But it's a cool thought... the next size up is the last one.

Then... PENIS.

There is DEFINITELY an end to all of this.  It's not this week, this month, even this year.

But it will end.

And then something new will begin for me and my husband.

But I think George will always have a piece of my heart.

Sorry husband.

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  1. Well done! And, yeah. I think d4 is better suited to measuring pasta, if you ask me.

  2. This blog is a punchy bit of composing, as it has a solid