Tuesday, 27 October 2015

I'll Be There For You

So it's been a pretty crazy couple of days over at the Hey Vaginismus! HQ (my living room).  Since I started writing this blog, only 3 weeks ago, I have been wondering if there was any point.  It was getting a handful of views every day, but nothing was happening to make me feel that it was worthwhile.  I'm quite an impatient person, always thinking about the end goal (see Project Vag)

Anyway, on Sunday, after a couple of nice retweets over on twitter, I suddenly started noticing a massive jump in the number of people looking at the blog.  People from all over the world, in fact.  This carried on into Monday, where more retweets led to hundreds more views, emails, messages, tweets, comments... It was exciting and overwhelming to hear from so many women who had experienced or are still experiencing vaginismus.  There's loads of us out there!  I also received email from a sexual health professional who said she would refer her patients to the blog.  WOW!  So it was a good day.

What wasn't so good is that I was working from home yesterday, and spent about 3 minutes on my actual job, and a solid 8 hours on Hey Vaginismus!  But it felt worth it, and a priviledge to know that people were interested in and helped by what I had to say.

Anyway, about 5pm I put the laptop down, and went out to meet an old friend from university who I haven't seen in years.  We admitted, after a few wines, that we had been a bit nervous about meeting up in case we had nothing to talk about after not seeing one another in such a long time, but there was an immediate click and we chatted non-stop for hours.  My friend and I discovered that we are both currently spending about half of our week working from home.  We chatted about all the many distractions that come with this- dirty dishes, washing needing hung up, daytime TV...  By this point, with about a gallon of rose wine in me, I decided to tell her about this blog.  Which meant, of course, telling her I have vaginismus.

Her reaction was incredible. She didn't bat an eyelid. She had heard of the condition, and wasn't remotely phased or shocked (or if she was, she didn't show it!).  We talked about it briefly, then moved on to another topic of conversation.  And that was it.  It was easy.  There was none of the shock, sympathy, hand holding, tears and questions that I had imagined, whenever I pictured telling someone.  It was all very normal. And why shouldn't it be? Vaginismus is normal. It's not a big dirty secret, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

On the train home, I text my friend, to say how much fun it was to catch up.  She replied, thanking me for telling her about vaginismus.  She thanked me.  Not the other way round.  (Well, obviously I then thanked her... but you get my point, yah?)

By the time I got home, and checked Hey Vaginismus! and saw even more views, comments and messages, I was completely buzzing.  Maybe this doesn't need to be such a big, sad scary deal.  My husband has now read the blog, and is a part of the Hey Vag gang.  I am confident that the word can get out that this condition exists, it's normal, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, and ideally find a way to help women link up, chat and support one another in person.  This wont happen overnight, of course.  I have learned a lesson about rushing ahead and moving too fast, but it's still nice to dream big.

Oh and in other news, I fully inserted D2 yesterday for the first time.  BOOM!

Hello friends! heyvaginismus@gmail.com  Tweet tweet @heyvaginismus


  1. Congratulations on conquering the D2!!!
    One thing that helped me progress to D3 was leaving the D2 in long, at least an hour. I tried leaving it on overnight. That worked fine, except I would wake up in the middle of the night (which I usually don't). So I just do an hour or so extended insertion now.

  2. Thank you!!
    I've never tried an extended insertion, think about 10 minutes is the best I've done. Sounds tough but will give it a try if it worked for you!